Drained

Tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, detached, anxious, irritable are all words to describe my current state of being. These are not words I want to be using, but it is my current truth. I want to be back to the state of calm, relaxed, interested, and excited again. I want to feel balanced. I want to feel the positive energy surging through me. I want to feel the passion driving me. I want to feel like I am on the right path. I want to feel like I did only a short time ago. I want to not feel drained.

Instead,  I feel drained to zero day after day.  I feel the weight of life in my body. I cry over everything. I feel the darkness that used to engulf me trying to sneak back into my life. I feel like giving into the darkness, because that is what I always did in the past. I feel like I am failing at teaching and at mothering. I feel drained.

Yet, I know I must keep fighting. I know I must listen to my inner warrior goddess. I know I must not give into the darkness. I know I must not doubt that I am doing the best that I can every single day. I know I  must find ways to regain my balance through self care. I know I must trust my path. I know I must find time to do those things that light the fire within my soul. I know I must fight back so that I am not drained.

I am drained. I am exhausted. I am tired. I am feeling defeated. But, I am strong. I am a survivor. I am resilient. I am going to come out of this better than I was before. I am going to feel balanced again, and not so drained.